People Building

I went to a party that I hadn’t really wanted to attend. I went because I knew that in doing so I’d be supporting a friend of mine who was keen for me to be there.

The party was held in a pub and when we arrived she introduced me to an interesting man who we’ll call Mr X. Mr X is a very well know trainer of NLP and I was a little nervous of meeting him as I knew there was a chance he would be “testing” my NLP knowledge.

Anyway. That didn’t seem to happen, or I thought it hadn’t until I reflected on the situation with hindsight.

You see about a quarter of the way through the evening, I made some remark about a large jar of pickled eggs behind the bar. “I’ve never eaten pickled eggs and never want to.”

Mr X said “You can only grow if you’re willing to step out of your comfort zone.”

I explained that this wasn’t really about growth and anyhow I didn’t want my growth to be based around pickled eggs.

Then he said “Real change can only happen if you’re willing to do something you haven’t done already.”

Using the agreement frame I replied with “I get that and I just don’t want to try any pickled eggs.”

He said “Perhaps you should stop trying and just go for it!”

I started think about taking one of those pickled eggs and stuffing it up his…

–       “All I’m saying Gemma, is that people who restrict their experiences of life are essentially dulling the edges of their own world unnecessarily.What specifically is it about the pickled eggs that prevents you eating one?”

Now it’s not that I disagree with anything he said. I pretty much teach that to my clients. The difference is that they’ve come to me asking for that kind of guidance. They have their own pickled eggs to deal with that they actually do want to eat.

Sometimes it’s just nice to talk about pickled eggs and be completely negative about them without getting meta modelled.

Then he said “If you became so curious that you just took one bite, you might discover you like them.”

I know installing curiosity is a useful thing. I get that. I just don’t like pickled eggs.

“I don’t want to. I think they are stinky and ugly and the idea of eating one disgusts me. I’ve no idea why they are on the same planet as me. No amount of rapport building is going to get me to eat a pickled egg.”

Probably his best idea came next “Then perhaps we should leave the pickled eggs to the people who can feel really blessed to enjoy them.”

My response to this probably wasn’t as resourceful as it should be.

“Blessed? Anyone who feels blessed to eat pickled eggs is a total weirdo.”

He said “Thank you for your beautiful perspective!”

Sometimes I just want to have a bad hair day, hate the weather and stub my toe without reframing it.

Sometimes I feel victimised, violated or angry and I don’t want to be blessed because of it or bless the situation or anyone else involved in it.

If all there is, is happiness and positivity then what is there to look forward to? The spectrum of emotions becomes all but a slither if we will only invite in the light and attempt to cut out the darkness completely.

I just don’t like pickled eggs. It has nothing to do with perception is projection or that my disliking of them causes my reticular activating system to get more of what I focus on or that my unconscious doesn’t process negatives.

Sometimes you can help people move to a better place by sharing advice and kind words with them, but it’s a good idea to lead them to the top of the mountain of positivity, rather than standing on top of it and shouting down to them to them about how to get up there.

No amount of “love and light” or “being in my truth” or “accepting the abundance of the universe” is ever going to change it; I just don’t like pickled eggs.