People Building

I recently had a coaching session in which I was talking about some new ideas for my business. During the session I asked the coach what I should pay in commission to a sales person (I wanted to know if there was a basic acceptable rate) and to my surprise he said “It’s up to you, you make the rules.”

Later I was thinking of a challenge I’d had with someone that I had paid who didn’t issue me with an invoice that I needed for my accountant. I decided that next time they do some work for me, I will pay them when they give me the invoice and not before. I made a new rule and as a result I will get a new result – hopefully a more favourable result too.

I started to think about other areas of my life where I could make up some new rules that I could implement for the new year. I made up some new rules for when I see my clients and when I will be writing the newsletter.

There are new rules about holidays, sleep and wine and new rules about food.

The great thing is that the rules I am making are not scary rules that I will dislike putting in place. They are ultimately rules that I can enjoy enforcing. There may be rules that are less easy than others, for example, the rule about going to the gym. I know that in the past I haven’t enjoyed the gym, so the rule isn’t “You will go to the gym 3 times a week” instead, the rule is “You are going to enjoy taking care of yourself and having a physically fit body.” For some reason that rule is much more appealing. So much so, it makes me want to go to the gym to make it happen. I imagine that I won’t hit the gym as hard as I have in the past, but in a  sense it will be much more consistent and enjoyable.

For example, the new rule for when I see clients means I will be a lot more structured with my time, and will have more free time as a result.

So I wondered what rules you could make for yourself to help you make your 2011 easier, healthier or just a little better.

Here are some ideas to get you started.

If you ever had a rule about your health that you didn’t stick to, you can reframe it to make it more appealing to your unconscious mind. For example, you may have in the past had a rule that said “I will stop eating junk food and stick to a healthy diet.” A better rule could be “I am going to get my body to the healthiest possible state by having a balanced varied diet.”

If you ever had a rule about relationships that gave you trouble, you can simply adjust it to make it more realistic and achievable. If you had a rule such as “I’m going to do my best to keep my partner happy” it might be better stated as “I’m going to find ways to do the things that help my partner to be happy and to do the things I enjoy in my own life.”

I you ever had a rule about finances that flopped, it might just need restating in a more ecological way. If you had a rule that you didn’t stick to, such as “I’m going to save money every month” it was perhaps because it didn’t fit in with other aspects of your life. You could instead say something like “I’m going to save enough money each month to help me achieve my goals, whilst keeping enough by to continue enjoying my life.”

Perhaps you had a rule about triggering your self development that didn’t yet take shape. For example “I’m going to learn a new skill that I’ve always wanted to develop.” Instead, make you rule more specific and set a date to take the action you need and have someone that you will be accountable oversee your efforts. That could be a friend or a coaching. A new rule could be restated as “I’m going to do (whatever the course is you want to do) and I’m going to book it by (date). Every day I’m going to do something to move me closer to this.”

If you had a rule in the past about your career that you didn’t see through, simply change the rule. A rule such as “I’m going to change my career this year” is very broad and may seem like to big a challenge to take on, no matter how much you dislike you current job. A better rule could be “I’m going to do one significant thing every month that moves me closer towards a change in my career.”

New rules can make it much easier and comprehendible for your unconscious mind to support you in making positive lasting change.

By Gemma Bailey
www.NLP4Kids.org