The Myth of Self-Sacrifice: Why People-Pleasing Damages Relationships It’s easy to believe that being agreeable, accommodating, and self-sacrificing will make your relationships easier. But often, the opposite happens. When we give up our needs to please others, the relationship becomes […]
When You’re Ready, the Right Message Always Finds You
A friend of mine has been trying to get fitter for years. You know the story – the new gym kit, the motivational videos, the fancy equipment that ends up gathering dust. She’s got it all: a Peloton bike, a […]
How to Help Clients Give Themselves Permission to Change
Anyone who’s worked with both children and adults will tell you this: kids change fast, adults change slow. Why Children Transform Faster Than Adults When I work with children, I’m often amazed by how rapidly their emotional state can flip. […]
Why your “fully booked” diary is costing you more than you think
I had coffee with an old friend recently — a therapist I’ve known for years. He won’t appreciate me calling him “old”, but we go way back. Over time, he’s made a huge shift in the way he works. In […]
Stop Rescuing Everyone. Start Protecting Your Edge
If you’re someone who’s always been the dependable one — the person who shows up, steps in, and saves the day — this one’s for you. Because I’ve lived that role too. And while it can feel purposeful (even glorious […]
The Lie That Keeps You Broke
You can learn endlessly — but if you never act, nothing changes. Some years ago, I enrolled on a course to learn how to build a property business. Spoiler alert — I never did anything in property. But I did […]
I Thought I Was Helping — But I Learned I Was Hurting Myself
I never saw it coming — that the person I thought I was *saving* was the one who would teach me the hardest lessons. **When Kindness Becomes the Cage** My uncle was an alcoholic. And he carried other addictions I […]
Your Mistake – My Problem? Not Anymore.
Have you ever been *so good* at solving problems that it backfires? You solve things so well, so calmly, so consistently — that people stop asking you for help. They start *expecting* it. Worse, they assume you’ll fix *their* mistakes […]
Two Monks, One Burden—and What You’re Still Carrying Today
I hope you’re well today. I want to share a story — a proverb — that’s been tugging at my thoughts. It reminds me how often we carry heavy burdens long after we should have set them down. And I […]
When the Universe Seems to Say “No” — What That Teaches Us About Growth
I’m probably going to repeat something I’ve said in a previous email, but I had such a beautiful, clear example of this yesterday that I wanted to share it again. It’s the theory of avoiding pushing upstream. Have you ever […]
