If I’m honest, I always shudder a little when I set out to write an article such as this one. The main reason is that whilst at this moment in time, the words I am writing will make perfect sense, I also know that there will be a time when they come back to haunt me. At a time when I least want them to, I will have to listen to my own good advice. (Of course worse than that is someone else telling me to listen to my own good advice.)
You might be wondering after reading the title of this article why it is that I’m presupposing a major catastrophic event. That in doing so I am sending a signal out to the universe to create one for myself, and you could be right. But I also want to be realistic about what life has to offer. I went recently to see a very well respected Past Life Regression therapist and spiritualist. It’s not the way I normally approach resolving issues but I thought it would be enlightening and good practise- and it was. What was interesting is that the therapist, who is very highly regarded in the UK, said “Every time we think we have got rid of our stuff (technical term for negative emotions that are still causing a problem and are related to significant emotional events of the past) new stuff happens, new challenges come up and create more stuff. Unless you are on a mountain meditating all day, it’s very difficult to go through life without some degree of stuff there.”
The “stuff” in question doesn’t have to be related to a major catastrophic event, but it could be. That purely depends on your perception of it. Those who have experienced major catastrophes, quite often think back on them later, and see them as a Turning Point, an indication to change life in some way or even a blessing. I was watching The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success (see Who Were Lovin’ section) and was listening to Olivia Newton-John describing her breast cancer as a blessing. There can’t be many who feel that way about cancer, and whilst that might not have been her in-the-moment thought about it, that is certainly her perception now. By reframing the meaning of cancer, it has in a sense become a blessing. What others may perceive as a major catastrophic event, for her was a blessing.
Now let’s just think about the nitty-gritty of that. Even if a cancer came and went, which frame of it would have you feeling better in the moment of now. “I recovered from cancer (thank god) and it was a major catastrophic event in my life” or “I recovered from cancer (thank god) and can now see its presence was a blessing.” Of those two thoughts, which one still has fear attached to it? Which one says “if it comes back I already know I’ll be ok” which one says “it will shake up my life with some negative implications” and which one says “it will shake up my life and good things may come from it”? Therefore which one has the most power? For me, it’s the blessed one. I know that won’t be true for everyone, some people feel more armed for a good fight if they are anticipating a major catastrophic event. And that’s ok, there is certainly a lot of adrenaline for fight in fear. I just happen to think that fighting a major catastrophic event shouldn’t be done from a place of fear. I’m not even sure you should fight. How would it be to dance with a major catastrophic event and all the while know that ultimately you will be ok, you are loved and good things will come from it eventually?
Like I said, one day these works will come back to bite me on the arse on a day when I am experiencing what at that moment in time I consider to be a major catastrophic event. Someone will send me an email/write something on Facebook etc saying, “but Gemma, this isn’t a major catastrophic event, it’s just your perception of it!” And I’ll probably call them a smarty pants and grumble for a bit. But knowing what I know, I always say to my clients it’s all about time, energy and frequency. It’s ok to react, feel bad etc after all we’re only human. I’ll let myself off the hook as long as the amount of time feeling sorry for myself is not too long (measured only on a scale of my own grumpiness) the amount of energy I spend feeling bad isn’t too much and that I don’t return to indulging in the catastrophically bad thought as much as I could do.
By Gemma Bailey
www.NLP4Kids.org
I want to thank Gemma very much not only for this post but also for her all previous efforts. I’ve always found peoplebuilding.co.uk to be extremely interesting and would recommend the homestudy courses offered.