Some rules and conditions have a great purpose in life. As children we are told “Don’t talk to strangers”. For those who follow this conditioning it helps to keep them protected. But what happens if you go through life, subscribing to old, out of date conditions. As an adult, would it end up creating limitations?

Having a framework for how we should behave and interact with others is important because it creates boundaries that keep us safe and allow us to coexist peacefully. It also offers us guidance so that we are encouraged to move forward and not remain stagnant in life.

Behavioural conditions are everywhere. There are rules that you follow in the job you have, what you do there, how you are allowed to interact. When these are not in place people can begin to take advantage and we may see a decrease in productivity as minds begin to drift and wander.

Personally as someone who works with children I see the importance of rules every day, and every day I am enforcing rules. Every single workshop I do I set out the rules before we get started and come to think of it, I do the same on NLP and Hypnotherapy training too. We always begin with the rules for the room. If I don’t give the rules up front, people will return back late from break, or forget to do their NLP Practitioner test paper. Having the conditions in place do not just help to manage their expectations but create an environment where passing the course is much more likely.

Are there times however, when these conditions restrict us – perhaps in creativity or efficiency? If we removed the conditions would there be more freedom to discover alternative ways of doing things as we empower others to be deductive in their experience?

This may be true for some, but not all. Those who can live, work and thrive without those pre-set conditions do exist but they are the movers and shakers amongst us. They are the directors and entrepreneurs among us. In a way you could argue that these people set the conditions for everyone else. That kind of freedom quite possibly doesn’t suit everyone in the same way that inventing, directing and creating isn’t everyone’s cup of tea either. Some prefer a simple and more prescribed life.

Conditions create safety – apparently children who are disciplined feel more loved because the boundaries let them know that people care enough about them, that they won’t let them do what they want, when they want.

Anyone can change the conditions they are adhering to at any time, and sometimes there may be a bigger pay off in doing so than there is in complying with the boundaries. So where does flexibility fit into all of this?

Deliberately abandoning the conditions that keep you safe for no good reason, could appear a little reckless but having flexibility to adjust the conditions you live within would definitely be a good idea.

Are the rules made to be broken? For the benefit of smoothly running society, no. But can the rules be flexible? Yes they can and there is plenty of benefit to thinking from and living by that perspective.


By Gemma Bailey