Most of the time, when someone walks through my door, I can help them. Whatever the problem – stress, anxiety, confidence, even weight loss – I can usually find the tools to make a difference.
But there are rare occasions when the most ethical thing I can do is say “no.” This is the story of one of those times.
When Weight Loss Isn’t Really About Weight
A woman had contacted my office asking for help with weight loss. She explained to my colleague Leslie on the phone that her family had always struggled with obesity, and she was determined not to go down the same path. Over the past year, she’d started eating more sweets and unhealthy foods, and as a result, she’d gained weight. She wanted therapy to help her get back on track.
So far, it sounded like a typical case. But when she walked through the door, I felt a wave of confusion. This woman wasn’t just slim – she was thin.
Sometimes, what a client says and what they actually need are two very different things.
The Delusion Beneath the Surface
Sitting in the consultation, she repeated her story: her family were obese, she had worked hard to stay healthy, but now she felt she had lost control. Yet as I listened, I couldn’t reconcile her words with what I saw.
This wasn’t a woman who needed to lose weight. This was a woman whose self-perception had become distorted. To agree to help her “lose weight” would have been like a Hollywood surgeon telling an actress with a face already stretched and altered beyond recognition that another nose job was a great idea. It would have been collusion with a delusion.
And that, for me, was the line I couldn’t cross.
True therapy isn’t about giving clients what they ask for. It’s about giving them what they really need – even if it’s not what they want to hear.
The Ethical Dilemma
I decided to take a different approach. I explained my discomfort in focusing on weight loss directly. I could not, in good conscience, support a belief that might lead her towards harm.
Instead, I guided her through a session of hypnotherapy that targeted avoiding unhealthy foods – not because she needed to be thinner, but because it’s always sensible to make healthier choices. I deliberately refused to tie the outcome to the number on a scale.
Did she get what she originally came for? No. Did she get what she truly needed? Yes. Sometimes the best help is the help that challenges someone’s assumptions.
The Bigger Picture for Coaches
Why am I sharing this story? Because in the world of personal development, coaching, and therapy, ethical boundaries matter more than quick wins. A coaching franchise isn’t just about filling a diary with paying clients. It’s about doing the right thing, even when that means turning someone away or redirecting their focus.
This is one of the reasons our coaching franchise exists – to ensure practitioners are supported in making these tough calls. When you’re part of a franchise, you’re not alone in facing dilemmas like this. You have guidance, structure, and a team to back you up when you need to make a decision that prioritises ethics over income.
And sometimes, those decisions are what define you as a professional.
by Gemma Bailey (with the help of Ai)
