Some people walk through life like emotional tornadoes, leaving destruction in their wake and convincing themselves it’s the weather’s fault. And if you’ve ever been caught in one of those storms, you might be left wondering: Why me? What did I do to deserve this?
Well, here’s the truth no one tells you – it often wasn’t about you at all.
Why Some People Hurt You On Purpose
Hurt people really do hurt people. But that’s not a soft excuse – it’s a sharp truth. Because when pain isn’t processed, it doesn’t just disappear. It gets projected. It gets passed down. And worst of all, it gets justified.
In our latest video, Hurt People Choose to Hurt People, I take a deep dive into the unsettling psychology of why some individuals choose to lash out rather than heal. Drawing on the work of Alfred Adler, we unpack how those with a deep sense of inferiority will often build their sense of superiority by crushing someone else’s self-worth. Sound familiar?
You see, the emotionally wounded often become emotionally weaponised. And if you were in the blast zone – especially in childhood – you may still be picking shrapnel out of your soul.
🧠 “What feels like a personal attack is often someone else’s survival strategy.”
The Hidden Strategy Behind Their Cruelty
When you were younger, did you ever witness an adult snapping, shaming or blaming, and later telling you they “didn’t mean it”? It’s possible they truly didn’t. But it’s also possible they did. Because for some, cruelty is calculated. It’s a way to control, to cope, to escape their own inadequacy.
Adler’s concept of compensation helps us understand this. When someone feels deeply powerless, they’ll often overcompensate by becoming aggressive, controlling or dismissive – especially if they perceive someone else as weak. Which means that if you were kind, soft, or vulnerable… you might have been targeted because of that. Not in spite of it.
But here’s where it gets even messier: if you internalised that behaviour as normal, you might now find yourself tolerating – or even repeating – the same cycle. In your relationships. Your work. Even in the way you treat yourself.
And for those of you in the helping professions – therapists, coaches, teachers – this hits differently. You might be spending your life trying to undo the emotional inheritance someone else passed down through pain.
“Sometimes, what you think is self-sabotage is actually just protection disguised as punishment.”
A Pattern That Coaching Alone Can’t Fix – But Coaching Can Interrupt
That’s why at People Building, we go beyond surface-level coaching tools. We train people in depth psychology, neuro-linguistic patterning, and therapeutic insight. Whether you’re a seasoned practitioner or someone looking for more meaningful work, our coaching franchise exists to equip you to break cycles – not just soothe symptoms.
Becoming part of a coaching franchise like People Building isn’t just about delivering sessions. It’s about standing at the crossroads of inherited pain and future potential – and choosing to turn pain into purpose.
And if you’re already working with clients, or want to, this is the kind of material that will change the depth and direction of your work forever. The ability to see patterns, dismantle protection strategies, and rebuild someone’s inner world is nothing short of alchemy.
If you’re curious about how this all plays out, watch the full video now:
🎥 Watch “Hurt People Choose to Hurt People” on YouTube: www.youtube.com/peoplebuilding
It might just explain more about your own life than any self-help book ever has.
So if you’re ready to become the person who stops the pain from passing on – let’s talk. Because there’s a coaching franchise waiting for someone just like you to lead it.
by Gemma Bailey (with the help of Ai)
